My husband and I celebrated twenty wonderful years of marriage this year. There have been times that our journey has been littered with thorns and rocks, but we have never once considered giving up. What makes people stick together through thick and thin? There maybe no one answer, but there are things that make living with someone easier, and some of the advice that I was given long before marriage has really been a blessing.
It may seem strange to many people, but we didn't share a love at first sight moment. In fact, I ran as far from my husband as possible. I was getting over a really bad break up and he "scared" me. I knew he liked me, and I could tell he was serious, but I just wanted to mope. After his many attempts trying to get to know me we finally became friends, but I had grown exasperated that he wanted more from me.
One day I was complaining to an elderly lady at church. It was the same day he accompanied me to worship and to a church social. I told the lady that I knew he liked me, but I wasn't really interested in him like that. That's when she looked me in the eye and said, "Dear, beauty fades, and the fire fades, and someday you only have your friendship. It looks to me that you already have that." I sat there for a moment and watched him from the distance. It was that afternoon, that I realized through our friendship, I had healed, and grown to love the man, that I now call husband.
A couple of weeks before I married my husband, I was riding in the car with my mother. She knew I was getting nervous about the upcoming wedding, just the whole social ordeal, and we had been talking about it for awhile. That's when the conversation turned in a different direction.
She informed me that she had noticed that many times when my future husband and I were talking I always gave in to his ideas. I am a very outspoken person with strong ideas, and opinions. She didn't like that I, in the few weeks prior to our wedding, had changed.
It was then that she told me that he didn't have to win every argument, and neither did I. It was important that we talk to each other, share our ideas, but always be willing to stand up for what we believe in. She told me not to lose myself, or change for love, and to always be myself, it's the girl he fell in love with. She was right. Being myself and being honest with him at all times is one thing that keeps us strong. We always have each other's back.
When my daughters and son begin to get serious about their love lives and are looking for a mate, I will pass these things on to them. But, I will add one piece of advice of my own. I will tell them that being honest with your spouse is the most important thing you can do.
Sometimes honesty is painful, embarrassing, and intimidating, but my husband and I never keep secrets from each other. There is nothing anyone could ever tell me about him I don't already know, from his past, or present life, and the same can be said about me.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment. Many people look at it as a trial experience, and that is not the correct attitude. Remembering these things throughout life will help your marriage to remain strong, and secure, even if the world around you is falling apart!
It may seem strange to many people, but we didn't share a love at first sight moment. In fact, I ran as far from my husband as possible. I was getting over a really bad break up and he "scared" me. I knew he liked me, and I could tell he was serious, but I just wanted to mope. After his many attempts trying to get to know me we finally became friends, but I had grown exasperated that he wanted more from me.
One day I was complaining to an elderly lady at church. It was the same day he accompanied me to worship and to a church social. I told the lady that I knew he liked me, but I wasn't really interested in him like that. That's when she looked me in the eye and said, "Dear, beauty fades, and the fire fades, and someday you only have your friendship. It looks to me that you already have that." I sat there for a moment and watched him from the distance. It was that afternoon, that I realized through our friendship, I had healed, and grown to love the man, that I now call husband.
A couple of weeks before I married my husband, I was riding in the car with my mother. She knew I was getting nervous about the upcoming wedding, just the whole social ordeal, and we had been talking about it for awhile. That's when the conversation turned in a different direction.
She informed me that she had noticed that many times when my future husband and I were talking I always gave in to his ideas. I am a very outspoken person with strong ideas, and opinions. She didn't like that I, in the few weeks prior to our wedding, had changed.
It was then that she told me that he didn't have to win every argument, and neither did I. It was important that we talk to each other, share our ideas, but always be willing to stand up for what we believe in. She told me not to lose myself, or change for love, and to always be myself, it's the girl he fell in love with. She was right. Being myself and being honest with him at all times is one thing that keeps us strong. We always have each other's back.
When my daughters and son begin to get serious about their love lives and are looking for a mate, I will pass these things on to them. But, I will add one piece of advice of my own. I will tell them that being honest with your spouse is the most important thing you can do.
Sometimes honesty is painful, embarrassing, and intimidating, but my husband and I never keep secrets from each other. There is nothing anyone could ever tell me about him I don't already know, from his past, or present life, and the same can be said about me.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment. Many people look at it as a trial experience, and that is not the correct attitude. Remembering these things throughout life will help your marriage to remain strong, and secure, even if the world around you is falling apart!
Love you, Sue! I think you picked a winner.
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